Currently I am staring in front of my slowly degenerating laptop at 3pm. My browser has already has its share of breaking down when I load too many tabs and go to all the skeeziest websites, but like me and my ASUS we’re still humming along the night.Maybe it has to do with my experience – albeit a miserable one- to the call center’s lifestyle. Too much coffee, too much work and too much anxiety gets to your nerves and scars your beleagured soul. How my body craves for that challenge again.
The body is still capable of course to write and hammer away at the morbid thoughts that creep in when I am alone. The thought of living in our slightly creepy residence waking up at 2.30 feeling like someone is watching you does not scare me though. What scares me is the awful, painful truth that there is nothing to wake up for. The flesh is willing but the spirit is weak, dull and uninspired.
Which is of course why I’d hate to sleep right now since my mind is racing all kinds of thoughts. There is nothing to distract me. The Zen focus of my mind is hellbent on updating my Windows and downloading PDF’s. As to why I’m blogging about this to the three people who’ll only read it, I may never fathom,